intentionality

Music Molds Minds

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I love music. Like, LOVE music.

My mom was in high school band and sang in our church choir. My sister was in band and choir and became an elementary music teacher. My dad’s favorite pastime is driving down the road, his outstretched arm cutting through the warm summer air, belting out the classics and drumming on the steering wheel. Most family gatherings with my aunts, uncles, and cousins involve hymn singing in perfect four part harmony. I was in marching and concert band, sang in my church choir, play guitar, played bass and sang backup vocals in an early 2000s punk cover band with my best friends. Some of my most vivid memories have something to do with music.

I recently spent two weeks with my 14 month old niece and just like the rest of our family, she is a music fanatic. The second music comes on or someone starts singing, she immediately drops everything she’s doing to dance and clap. She’s a huge fan of funk, 70’s classics, really anything with an exceptionally good groove.

Music has an overwhelming power over the human brain. A moving melody can send a chill down your spine (a phenomenon called frisson — with all my heart, I really really really hope you’ve experienced it). It can trigger memories, soothe infants, get you excited to exercise, make a dinner more romantic, calm you when you’re stressed, and help you focus.

But did you know that our earliest experiences with music help us develop more than just our musical ability? I could write a thousand posts about the benefits of music and still only scratch the surface, but for today, here are just a few ways music molds minds. Continue reading →

How to Communicate with Kids; part 2

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This is part two of a two part series on effective communication with young children. You can find part one here.

As I’m sure you gathered by now, this is a post about communicating with young children. My original draft of this post was entirely too long for my taste so I split it into two. Last week, I posted a part one and this week I’m sharing the rest with you. The following tips are things I’ve learned in the last 15 years of working with children. Tried and true, they’re bound to make your interactions with your children much smoother. Continue reading →

How to Communicate with Kids; part 1

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This is part one of a two part series on effective communication with young children. You can find part two here.

“You’re so good with them.”

“How do you get them to listen to you like that?”

“Kids are just naturally drawn to you. They just want to do what you say.”

“I don’t know how you do it.”

“Wow, you’re so patient.”

I don’t have enough hands to count the number of times my peers and I have heard these phrases throughout our careers. I wouldn’t consider myself exceptionally patient and I don’t know that children just naturally come to me.  I’m not a parent yet, but I’ve worked with children long enough that I’ve learned some super effective strategies for talking with young children and gaining their cooperation. The following tips don’t work all the time — nothing is perfect, especially in regards to children — and they certainly aren’t always easy, but they work a lot more than yelling and sighing. Continue reading →

Misunderstanding Misbehavior

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Have you ever played Good Guy/Bad Guy with your child?

Have you ever asked them what makes the Good Guy good or the Bad Guy bad?

Their answer is usually:

“The Good Guy is good because they save people. They’re nice. The Bad Guy is bad because they steal/push/yell. They’re mean.”

In this simple game, the behavior of the person defines the character of the person — whether they are to be considered “good” or “bad.”

But have you ever told your child that the reason you (as Bad Guy) are stealing everyone’s jewelry is because you want to give it to your mommy? Continue reading →