“ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE????!?!!!!!!”

Everyone’s attention is centered on a gymnastics mat surrounded by a circle of excited preschoolers. Two children are on their knees facing each other. Hearing the starting signal, they lunge toward each other, collapsing in a tangle of limbs as each one tries to pin the other to the ground for three seconds. Shouting fills the air as children call out words of encouragement to their friends wrestling on the playground. Through giggles, one child shouts out “I want to wrestle Jacob next!”

WHOA! WHAT IS THIS?! LORD OF THE FLIES?!

Believe it or not, this is not a scene from Lord of the Flies, but from a preschool classroom.

A few years ago I had a loud and rowdy class of two year olds. When I say we spent a lot of time outside, I’m telling you that we used our shared playground any chance we got. Licensing only allowed for three more kids on the playground? We’d take it.

The next year, I followed that same class to the more structured half day pre-preschool class. We had longer circle times, project work, group work where kids cycled from workstation to workstation…and our outside time didn’t come until later in the day. By 10:00am each day the kids were wild and my co-teacher and I were exhausted. How were we going to make it through the year without losing our minds?

Realizing the kids needed to move, we started taking little outside breaks like we had the year before. A few of the kids started to wrestle with each other and it wasn’t long until there would be tears.

“You pulled my hair!”

“You hurt my arm!”

“Stop pulling my shirt!”

Clearly, this wasn’t working. It was time to set some boundaries.

“Too many people are getting hurt when we wrestle. I think we might need to stop wrestling.”

“NOOOOOOO,” many of the children called out.

“How can we wrestle without getting hurt?”

As a class, we had a long talk about the problems we were having with wrestling and together  came up with some very basic ground rules.

1. The person you want to wrestle has to agree to the match.
2. You have to stay on the mat.
3. You have to start out and stay on your knees.
4. Only start when the teacher gives the signal.
5. Only two people can wrestle at a time. Everyone else must stay off the mat.
6. Your goal is to pin your opponent to the ground for three seconds without hurting them.
7. If a wrestler says stop, you must stop.
8. Only grab at bodies and legs. No hair pulling or neck grabbing.
9. If you break the rules once, you must start over. If you break the rules twice, you must stop the match and take a break.
10. Only wrestle outside.

Suddenly, no one was getting upset when they were wrestling. More kids were getting the chance to wrestle, including some of the gentler kids who were afraid to wrestle the rougher kids. Most importantly, no one was getting hurt and everyone was having fun.

You might be thinking that we were crazy to referee wrestling in a class of three and four year olds, but it was happening anyway! These kids had a proclivity to rough and tumble play (also known as roughhousing or horseplay). They chased. They wrestled. They played “good guy/bad guy” and a thousand different versions of tag. They craved it. And all of it was key to their physical development. As their teachers, we wanted to ensure they had the chance to fill their physical needs while maintaining a safe environment. (Not to mention their increased ability to focus in the classroom!)

Physical development is broken down into two categories: fine motor — small movements in the hands and feet such as writing or wiggling toes — and gross motor — large movements in the limbs and whole body like running, throwing, and balancing.

Click here for gross motor activities!

Rough and tumble is a part of gross motor development and it’s nothing to be afraid of! Many teachers and parents are concerned that allowing this type of play to occur will cause kiddos to become aggressive and mean. In fact, with appropriate boundaries, just the opposite happens.

Research shows that rough and tumble play such as wrestling and chasing promotes self regulation, teaching little ones how much is too much and forcing them to listen to their peers who are involved. “Does my friend like this? Or are they over it?” It requires children to be aware of their environment and their own bodies. Preschool is a time when kids are constantly pushing against boundaries to see what is expected of them and what is off limits. Rough and tumble play helps them to define those expectations and limitations within their peer group.

You might be thinking, “Oh no! My kiddo hates rough and tumble play! What do I do?”

It goes without saying that not every child is going to be a fan of rough and tumble play. That’s completely fine! Those kiddos have plenty of other opportunities to determine the often unspoken rules of their friendships and strengthen their gross motor skills. You might just have to make sure you’re providing those opportunities more often.

If you do have a wild child who loves to play rough, let them! You, as the parent, caregiver, or teacher, will be responsible for establishing and maintaining safe boundaries that you determine together. Make sure that if it’s not allowed somewhere like at school or a friend’s house or the library, your kiddo knows those expectations. If your little one’s body is telling you that they need to get some rough and tumble play, find a way to make it work for your family. It might take some getting used to, but I guarantee you, it will be worth it.

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Are kids fans of rough and tumble play?

How do you make sure your kiddos are getting their daily dose of physical activity?

Let me know in the comments!