I’ve never been one for New Year resolutions. It always seemed to me that if you wanted to change something in your life, you shouldn’t have to wait until January 1st to start. And honestly, it seems like everyone gives up after a month or so.

But over the last couple of years I’ve noticed a new trend in New Year resolutions. Instead of a specific goal, many people — myself included — come up with a “Word of the Year.”

Some might say that a Word of the Year is too vague but I think it’s the perfect. It’s specific enough that you have a goal in mind but not so specific that you feel like you’ve failed within the first month.

That’s something I can get behind.

Too often, we try to force ourselves into certain boxes, creating unreasonable goals with no explicit plan to help us attain them. We do it with our health, our careers, even our families. We want to be super fit. We want the promotion. We want to be better partners and parents.

We all see those “perfect” parents on social media. The ones who pack organic lunches every day. The ones who always dress in the most recent trends. The ones whose houses are spotless regardless of having rowdy kids everywhere. The ones who make life seem so easy.

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Don’t feel bad if that’s not you.

(And if it is, don’t feel guilty. You do you, girl — but only after you tell us all your secrets!)

Don’t let other people’s lives be your goals.

In 2019, try having a Word of the Year for you and your family. Mold your actions around guiding principles, not someone who doesn’t have your life. And if you fall off the wagon? No big deal. Take a few deep breaths and get back on.

My word this year is “growth,” but over the course of my life, I’ve come up with three Words that guide my interactions with children every year.

Safety

This one is a given. As a teacher, I was responsible for up to 30 little lives every day, so my number one concern is always safety. At all times, whatever we’re doing, I need to make sure that the environment we are in is safe and that my actions and the kids’ actions are safe too.

Want to climb a tree? Sure.

Want to climb a tree that’s right next to a literal dumpster fire? Probably not.

Want to throw rocks? Have at it!

Want to throw rocks at your little brother? Ha. No.

Respect

“You have to earn my respect for me to give it!”

I hate this phrase. Like, from the depths of my soul, hate this phrase. And I get. I really do. It’s hard to be respectful to someone who isn’t respectful to you.

But why does respect have to be earned? Don’t we, by virtue of simply being alive, deserve to live life with dignity?

And what about children?

So much of their lives is being told what to do with little regard to their spirits.

You might be thinking “But I’m the parent. They’re the kids! I get to make the decisions!”

You’re absolutely right. BUT it is 100% possible to rule the roost while being respectful. (See my posts on How to Communicate with Kids.)

Think of your little ones as people with big emotions who are experiencing everything in life for the first time. Because they are!

Instead of seeing respect as something to be earned, live by the Golden Rule — giving, teaching, and receiving respect.

Self Reflection

As our world gets more and more connected and glued to our screens, we have a tendency to spend less time alone with our thoughts, but self reflection will always be key to improvement.

Athletes watch game tapes. Singers listen to their recordings. Work evaluations give you the opportunity to tweak your performance. The end of the calendar year revolves around reflecting on the last twelve months and planning how to be better in the next.

Take the time to sit back at the end of the day and think about the interactions you had with your family. Were there places you could have been better? Things you would have done differently? Maybe you didn’t follow one or more of your guiding words.

Don’t let it turn into analysis paralysis but instead, use it to be better the next day.

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We may already be a couple weeks into 2019, but that doesn’t mean you have to wait until next year to implement your Word of the Year. When I focus on weaving my three words into my interactions with my family, I feel calm and confident, regardless of how many dishes are left in the sink or how many days the laundry’s been piling up.

I truly hope you find a Word that inspires you all year long.

I would love to hear all of your Words of the Year; let me know in the comments!

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